“I should be ashamed of myself.”

When your voice says:

“I need to feel terrible to show I understand what I did.”

“Punishing myself is the responsible thing to do.”

Coach Lynn says:

Shame and responsibility are not the same. Shame attacks the whole person. Responsibility asks what happened and what you can do next.

Then you say:

Here’s what I need to do:

• Settle my body by taking one or more Composure Breaths.
• Determine if making amends, offering a sincere apology, or fixing the mistake is truly required.
• Take reasonable steps toward fixing what was broken.
• Let go of self-directed harshness once the situation is resolved.

Coach Lynn says:

Owning your actions creates progress, while lingering guilt holds you back. When you address the issue directly and drop the lingering self-blame, you regain your footing and continue with steady confidence and composure.